Ah! I am getting better about this!

It's been a month exactly since my last post. Does it mean that I am a blogger? Hell no, but it means that I am trying to update this more so I can share it with more family/friends/people that care about the details of our life.

What have I been up to? School and work. Currently, getting sick. I went from strep throat to flu to bronchitis that turned into pneumonia. Today I got so sick of not being able to breathe, coughing, and generally feeling like crap that I went to the urgent care. It's sad that I feel like I get better care at urgent care than I do with my primary care physician. Anyway, I got a shot of steroids, breathing treatment, 2 inhalers, a pack of steriods to take, and some pills. I know, a lot, but after a week of not getting any better I can breathe through my nose, breathe through my mouth without wheezing or coughing up half of my lung. I know, people it really is the small things isn't it?

This has made my eyes open up in a few ways. One I started doing research on the disease I have, Endometriosis. It's an autoimmune disease, so apparently you are going to get sick more often than most with this disease. I wish a doctor would have told me this a long time ago. Of course the research I did wasn't based on scholarly journals so it could be hoo-ha, but at this time I choose to believe that it doesn't help boost my immune system, mmmk?

Second, it makes me re-evaluate my lifestyle choices. Yes I have been losing weight, 17, but who's counting? :D While that's great I feel like I need to step up my game now that my immune system for the past year has been less than stellar. 3 times I got a sinus infection with bronchitis, and that doesn't include my sickness now that turned into pneumonia. The past few years Nick and I have fallen to the fast food way of life. No I have not seen Supersize me. It was so easy and it sounded cheap. Emphasis on sounded. $10 to feed us dinner, done! I don't have to cook! Woo! Unfortunately this added pounds to both of us, and a general unhealthy let's be lazy philosophy.

Funny enough even while doing this my cooking has improved since getting married. Watching MANY cooking shows, shadowing and following my mother-in-law, and purchasing more cookbooks than one person probably needs. Yet I am not utilizing my skills, not to mention there are so many benefits to cooking home-made meals. You get leftovers, which you can turn into something else for lunches or another dinner. You get to choose what goes into your meals. This is a great benefit! You get to see what does or does not go into your food. Perfect.

I probably sound like a paranoid person right now, but I just want to be better. I can probably lose more weight by eating at home, eat healthier, and hopefully just become better on the inside by eating better. I am also going to start buying vitamins. Clearly what I was doing before didn't work, so something should change right?

I should also add that exercising is important and I am going to add it, but eventually. I want to feel 100% before trying to test my lungs. I would hate to push myself too hard too fast.

This is a novel. You get a cookie.

I have beef.

I don't know this bothers me so much, but it does. The other day Nick came home from a bachelor party, where they talked about married life. They were telling the groom about how married life is great, but honestly there was one part that bugged me.

Nick tells me that he is often ridiculed or made fun of for not being able to eat out. It's not that he can't eat out, but we are trying to scrimp and save for a house, so any money we can save we will. Am I the only person on the planet that thinks this is stupid? Really? Are we 12?

Apparently it's not just that he is not made fun of for that, but also that I do the finances and he tells me when he spends money. Umm....what? Balancing a checkbook isn't a thing of the past people; it's a way of the future. He texts me or sends me the receipts.

I feel like younger generations (like mine, obviously) don't keep track of their money like they should. Yes, I like to balance to the penny, but when we're not making a lot of money, every dollar counts. It should count for everyone! People should watch what they spend. When they realize they could afford something expensive if they just took a break with spending on getting a coffee every day, that money adds up.

Don't tell my husband that it's bad that he doesn't eat out. A) It helps him be healthier. B) It helps our wallet. C) Mind your damn business.

Please tell me that I am not alone. /endrant

Some of the best memories....

Fall is upon us, and one of the biggest things to do is watch college football on a Saturday.  At least in our house, it is. We are huge University of Michigan fans here. Nick graduated from there, I am getting ready to graduate from there, plus we live in the same city as the college.  It's almost as if we have no choice but to be U of M fans.

Anyway, the first year we got married Nick and I didn't make a lot of money. We were young, poor, and totally in love. We found that we had money leftover after paying the bills, and Nick found tickets to the game against Minnesota dirt cheap, so we bought 2 tickets. I wasn't excited about going, the last game we went to, the fans were crying (husband included) because we lost to a team who's name will not be mentioned.

We woke up that morning and it was freezing.  Of course we didn't realize that until we had already gotten into the city and parked our car.  So, we went to the bookstore and bought overly priced gloves, scarf, mittens (for me), and a zip up fleece. It was that cold. On our way, walking to the stadium, we were offered free hot chocolate and hot cider and donuts. Um, only hell yes did we take everything we were offered.

We had the time of our lives at that game.  Michigan played well, I finally learned the cheers, and my husband was happy. It was really windy that day, so windy in fact that we had wind burn on our cheeks.  We went out later with friends who promptly told us we had the pinkest cheeks ever. I thought it was because we were too smitten since we went on a date, but we figured it out later why.

Today is October 5th, 2013.  Every season since our marriage, when we play Minnesota at home, we make a point to go. Today we play Minnesota at home, and we'll be two lovebirds sitting in the stands once again.

I laugh now, but I can't believe how many of our favorite dates were when we were poor, but creative with our money. Nick and I still talk about our dates from when we were really young. I just can't wait to go and create another memory today.

Bragging just a wee bit

I'm going to brag because I have been working really hard, and even though I hit a plateau I am happy with myself. I have lost 10 pounds this summer. I honestly never thought I could do it. Now I fully believe I can get in the best shape possible if I really put my mind to it because ten pounds is gone, just like that.

Well...not really just like that. I mean I have started running, which usually when mentioned would make me go hide in a hole.  Now I am actually doing it.  Craziness.  I do Tae-bo a couple times a week, and I am trying new things to keep me active.  This past Friday I took a step aerobics class which was so intense that not even halfway through I thought I may just puke.  Instead I womaned up and finished the whole darn thing.  45 minutes of intensity that I never would have done on my own.

Eating right is hard.  I went out with co-workers this week for a birthday.  Yes I did have a sliver of birthday cake, but I didn't indulge in alcohol or pop like I would have in the past.  Did I get mash potatoes?(which is the greatest food ever!)  No, I got spaghetti squash and zucchini with my chicken. 

Is it easy? No, it's really damn hard.  Some days I just want to throw in the towel, grab a bag of chips and a Coke and sit my ass down on the couch.  I don't.  I keep going.  I don't give up.  I can't give up now because then the entire summer would be wasted, and well that would just be dumb.

I have started a ten week workout that was given to me from somebody I love (looove you!) Yikes, I know I am going to be sore tomorrow! I love the challenge and can tell that I will benefit from it. Now you know what I have been up to. Also I am starting my last year of school for my bachelor's degree in Accounting. Can't wait to be done!

Life keeps getting in the way

I haven't posted in forever, but that's okay because there has been a lot of changes. My husband had a bit of turmoil with his job, his hours were cut in half, and we were struggling to keep afloat.  Neither of us were very happy, and it was awful.  Everybody says that marriage has ups and downs, and man were we having a down.

Fortunately things are definitely looking up.  We downsized our apartment to a one bedroom so we can save money for a house.  He got a new job that he loves, with people that are wonderful to him, and we are in a better place as well.  Obviously some other things are going to be taking a backseat like fostering and trying for a baby, but that's okay.  Sometimes I feel so busy and overwhelmed that I feel like the last thing we need right now is somebody else to take care of.  We'll get back there eventually, but right now we are not there.

It's very hot outside, which is fine because I miss seeing the sun when it's zero degrees, so I will soak it up while I can.  It's summer though, and the next season means it's going to be MY time of year.  Where apple pies are made, pumpkins are picked, and the crisp autumn breeze swirls the orange, red, and yellow leaves.  I love fall, and I am so excited.  Football, Halloween, Thanksgiving...It's only just a few months away.

That's about enough rambling that I'll be doing today.  :)

And just like that our lives changed.

So, our fostering license is taking longer than expected. That's because the person working on our stuff for months didn't really finish everything up like he said.  So, here we are, in May, and after starting this process we still don't have foster children, and our license is still in limbo.

Wednesday afternoon, I was lounging on the couch. I had just been to the doctor's where I learned I had an upper respiratory infection, and I was feeling pretty lousy.  I was getting ready to watch a chick flick when my phone rings.  It's from a strange number, and I almost ignore it.  Who wants to talk to potentially somebody they really don't want to when they don't feel well?  Something told me to answer it, so I did. It was our fostering agency, wondering if we would take a 4 and 5 year old little boys.  I was in shock.  I asked her if she was serious.  We had just been in there 2 days before to finish up our paperwork and they said it would be weeks!  I was floored.  I told her I had to call her back, because obviously I had to talk with the husband.

I call the husband who sounded exactly like I did when I told him.  He was shocked, and didn't really know what to think.  We discussed some things. Then I called the fostering agency back to ask a few more questions so I could talk to the husband again.  We decided that we would accept the placement, and then our lives got crazy.

I had to hurry and pick Nick up from work, since we live in an area with public transportation and he is lucky enough to have a bus pass. We fly our butts to Ikea, buy bunk beds, and then go to Target for bedding and some toiletries.  This would have to do for now.  We also wanted to pick up some kid friendly food. I figured leftover pasta primavera wasn't going to be their thing.  I don't know what happened to the groceries, we must have forgot.  Plus we had some bunk beds to put together, and we were starving.

We get home, I make dinner while N works on the bunk beds.  We bought dinosaur and jungle theme bedding for both of them.  The cat and the rabbit were going crazy, they knew something was going on.  That night we went to bed late, except I didn't sleep.  I couldn't. Our lives were changing and finally it was just how we had thought it to happen!  FINALLY!

Then, everything went down hill the next day. I got a call at 11 to pick the boys up at 2:30, which was not feasible because I was at work.  I also have been very sick and had been going home a lot so leaving wasn't an option.  I told them we could do 7:00.  Enough time to get home, get Nick then go pick them up.  I got 2 calls at work, asking some questions the state had. Unfortunately because our license didn't get finished we didn't get to pick them up, and they won't be placed in our home.

Even though I am heartbroken, and feel as though I missed out, our lives did change.  They will never be the same.  I will never think to not answer a phone call of an unrecognized number.  I will be ready to go shopping at a moment's notice for some children.  I learned that Nick and I could really pull together to get something done in a crunch.  We were there, and had done it. Now the next time we get a call, I know that we can pull together.

This really happened.

Here is a reenactment of what happened yesterday when Nick came home from work:

*Door opens and Nick walks through*

Me: You're home early.

*I then look at the clock and realize he is home on time, maybe even a little late*

Me: I confess I may have done nothing today.

Yes, this is what happens when I haven't had a day off in a while and I just lay around on the couch for a whole day. Don't blame me, it's the weather.

Later, Nick told me I ratted myself out.

Me: Oh I forgot to unload the dishwasher, sorry.

Nick: Now I now you aren't lying about not doing anything.  Usually you do at least one chore to say you have cleaned the house, and you had no idea what time it was when I came home.

Me: Yep.

So, we really haven't been doing much lately. No news on any front, except this chick is done with school in less than two weeks and we are going on vacation in ONE MONTH. That means I have one month to try and lose as much weight as possible.  In reality it means I will try really hard, lose a few, then need a cheeseburger and it all goes downhill from there.

I will share a picture of my boredom yesterday to amuse you.

Even Lola was annoyed at me being home yesterday. Psh.

Ok, I suck.

I keep saying I am going to blog once a week. It's just like what I say about losing weight: I mean it this time!  Three weeks later I am bathing in ice cream and french fries, saying what diet?  What blog?

We are officially on the track to starting our first IUI, hopefully in April. If not, I am not sure when because I am going to Florida in mid-May. I want to sip a Mai Thai on the beach! I am pretty sure that's on my bucket list. How cool would it be to sip alcohol while basking in the fact you have absolutely nothing to do? Yeah, I am ready to pack my bags right now. How about you?

We are still waiting on the foster thing. WAITING still....since October when we turned in every single page of our paperwork was turned in. We were expected to have kids on Thanksgiving...then Christmas....

If you haven't noticed, Easter is this Sunday and I am foster child less. Why is it so hard to give kids the love they need?

Every time I think I want to tell them just to pull my app and forget it, I hear some story about how kids grew up having an amazing life because of their foster parents. Fine, I get the point God. We can't give up.

I have another funny story to tell. I really hope these are funny, or at least they are to me.

Nick and I are sitting in a church pew, waiting for our turn to leave since the mass has ended and there is a line. He turns to look me in the eye, so we are looking at each other. I would love to say staring lovingly into each other's eyes, but my mind was elsewhere.  My husband tells me he loves me, to which I reply: "My nose is runny." Clearly I was listening to him. He looked at me as if I was crazy, then I managed to fumble an I love you back at him. We were cracking up after the fact, and now he tells me his nose is runny too.

Funny stuff

I almost peed my pants at dinner today. The biggest question you probably have is why? What was so funny?

I don't even remember!

That's how much fun Nick and I have together.  No, it isn't always like that.  I actually think the conversation today at dinner was my (husband's words) "weasel-ly feet".  I am always cold. Always. So, I try to warm myself up any way we can, and one way I do that is by putting my ice cold feet underneath my husband's bum to keep them warm. Unfortunately all of a sudden he stopped letting me do it, so my ice cold weasel-ly feet are cold! And yes, I do have socks on.

There aren't really many updates to say.  Nothing new on fostering news, which I feel like isn't a big surprise. The process is painfully slow, and I am tired of calling to hear of no news.

Hmmm....updates on the trying process actually does have an update. We are going to do IUI with injections, and now we just have to wait....and wait....wait....I have to take birth control before we do the cycle with IUI, but at least we have plan.

As long as I have my husband, I will always be laughing.

Sunday, blog day?

New look to my new blog, even though I actually deleted my old posts. They were pretty depressing, and that bummed me out.  Even though I was, and unfortunately still am, going through some things, I don't want people to read my blog and feel crappy afterwards.

The last time I had updated my blog was almost a year ago, so things have changed.  Unfortunately our battles with infertility have not, but we are taking steps forward now.  My husband and I did take time off after we had a miscarriage with one of our medicated cycles, and it's almost been a year since that has happened.  Honestly, it was the best feeling. We reconnected, went out and lived our lives! It was amazing how much our marriage became refreshed, like when we were dating.  We started going on dates again, laughing so hard together that it hurt to smile.  You never realize how much you miss things until you experience them again.  The first time I saw a ground hog "in the wild" made us cry we were laughing so hard. It feels so good to be us again. To be fair, the ground hog was in the parking lot of a Save-a-lot that we were driving by after getting some pizza. Feel free to laugh at me now. :)

 A year ago everything was so different.  I had a hard time doing anything without somehow becoming sad or upset.  Everything seemed to set me off. It was a hard time, and I am glad that it seems (for the most part) to be over.  We got a new infertility doctor who is more proactive about getting us pregnant, and wanting to figure out how I can carry to full-term.  We have an appointment with him on March 5th to really go over our options after all the testing we completed, so hopefully we should have a plan of action soon.

Other big news, we started the process of becoming foster parents.  We actually started this back in September, and we are hoping (although the process has been painfully slow) to at least get our license to be foster parents soon.  This is a tricky area right now, and a lot of people have opinions (good and bad) as well as questions.  I will go more into detail about fostering, the process, and our reasons for doing it in another post.  I will even answer any questions you have about fostering as well.

Nothing else is really new.  We are looking to buy a house soon, which is scary and exciting. It feels weird really becoming a grown-up, thinking about getting a mortgage. Craziness! 2013 is a new year, and I hope it means new awesome changes are coming.